Healthy relationships between ministerial leaders and people are an important goal of the church. Such relationships are nurtured by open dialogue about mutual expectations for pastoral leadership and congregational mission. Hopefully, this process begins at the outset of the church’s new pastoral leadership using available resources to enhance this process.
Conflict is inevitable in all human interactions, including that between pastor and people. When the word pastor is used throughout this document, it includes all local church ministerial leaders.] It can contribute to their growth or be destructive to their relationship and hinder the mission of the church.
This document is a guide for resolving conflict between pastor and people. When the conflict cannot be resolved, suggestions are offered for a fair and compassionate process of separation. This will enable both the professional church leader and congregation to move ahead on their separate paths in healthy, fruitful ministries.
This process will need to be adapted to fit the particular size, staff composition, history, congregational life, and structure of the church.
God is love,1 and because of this, God’s children live in love.2 God is active in the lives of Christians to produce a quality of love which puts the needs of others above self interest.3 This love enables them to live at peace with all people, to better reflect God’s image, and to present a powerful, evangelistic testimony to an unbelieving world.4 This love is to be expressed between all Christians, one to another,5 and also by Christians to enemies6 and outcasts.7
Because churches and Christians are not yet perfect, still struggling with sin,8 some relationships in churches may be tense, manipulative, and even hostile. Unfortunately, all too often this tension occurs between ministerial leaders and congregations. Such tension, whatever the cause, may result in involuntary termination of the relationship between the two.
Prior to that break an attempt must always be made to reconcile differences.9 This step may be initiated by either or both parties. It may involve repentance, confession, and forgiveness. God has brought even enemies together in Christ, abolishing in him "the dividing wall of hostility,"10 in order to make peace. A professional church leader and a church in conflict should do everything possible, in view of God’s self sacrificial love, to reconcile differences and move forward in unity.
In cases where reconciliation is not achieved, unity and peace in the body of Christ should be maintained.11 Although Paul and Barnabas once failed to resolve their differences over John Mark,12 they each continued in productive areas of ministry, with much mutual respect, cooperation and teamwork.13 Similarly, a ministerial leader and a church who need to part ways must affirm the giftedness and the place in the body of Christ of the other party. Each should treat the other with love, providing for needs14 and taking pains to ensure success in the next step of ministry for both the church and the clergy person.15
"As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful.” (Colossians 3:12-25; NRSV)
| 1I John 4:8, 16 | 7Luke 10:27-37 | 12Acts 15:36-41 |
| 2I John 4:11 | 8Hebrews 12:1 | 13I Corinthians 9:6; Colossians 4:10, Philemon 24 |
| 3Phillippians 2:2-4 | 9Matthew 5:23 | 14I Timothy 5:17, 18 |
| 4John 13:35 | 10Ephesians 2:14 | 15Acts 13:1-3 |
| 5I John 4:19-21 | 11Ephesians 4:3 | |
| 6Matthew 5:44 |
The Ministry of Mediation is a dispute intervention process in which a neutral third party (mediator) enables the disputing parties to negotiate a settlement with which they are willing to live. The mediator(s) promotes a collaborative problem-solving rather than an adversarial environment through focusing the parties on the issues rather than personalities, on their interests rather than positions, and on a mutual-gain rather than a win-lose resolution.
The mediator must be perceived as neutral by the disputing parties in order to gain their acceptance and cooperation. If either party views the mediator as an ally of the other party, the requisite acceptance and cooperation will be absent and the mediation effort probably will fail.
The goal is "to negotiate a settlement with which they are willing to live." There are times in which the mediation effort brings about reconciliation and healing with a new opportunity for a pastoral leader and congregation to (re)form a healthier relationship.
When reconciliation does not occur, the process moves toward termination of the relationship. It is hoped that the separation process will lay the groundwork for healing and growth, both within the congregation and within the ministerial leader.
Staffing the mediation process will depend on available resources. Because mediation requires the perception of the mediator’s neutrality, region staff may not be seen as the ideal choice. Mediation involves specific skills for which people should receive training. The use of a mediator is not a substitute for the pastoral care and oversight by region staff; rather using a mediator is one way of fulfilling this role.
A neutral trained mediator or mediation team of clergy and laity may be assigned to work with the ministerial leader and congregation. The region staff will have available a list of designated persons with developed mediation skills and will be prepared to recommend a mediator or a mediation team which has been trained for that task. Each region will need to develop this mediation resource so that it can provide the parties in conflict with qualified mediators, sensitive to the unique qualities of the church.
Note: In cases where the mediation effort breaks down completely, the parties may be willing to submit their dispute to arbitration. "Arbitration" is an intervention process in which a neutral third party (arbitrator) renders a final and binding decision. In the event that the parties do not wish to arbitrate the dispute, a fair separation agreement should still be offered by the congregation.
INTERNAL RESOLUTION OF CONFLICT
When conflict arises between ministerial leaders and congregations they serve, in many cases they are able to work out the conflict through the appropriate church structures, such as the Pastoral Relations Committee. Following is an outline which may be used to assist the process.
When the internal resolution/reconciliation of the conflict is successful, stop. There is no need to proceed. If unsuccessful, the next step is third party intervention.
THIRD PARTY INTERVENTION
When the third party intervention is successful in achieving resolution/reconciliation, stop. There is no need to proceed. If unsuccessful, and a separation of the pastor from the church seems inevitable, proceed to the next step.
SEPARATION PROCESS AND AGREEMENT
Each situation which acknowledges separation as the best of the options has unique variables. Always present is pain: the pain of personal loss and the loss of integrity in a pastor/people relationship. Also influencing the process is fear: for the pastor the fear of joblessness and its attendant homelessness and, for the church, the fear of damaged reputation in the community as well as economic instability. Within this emotional climate it is expected that the pastor and church will negotiate a fair and equitable separation agreement. Items for negotiation include:
In addition, it is recommended that the church share at least 50% of the cost of personal/family counseling and career assessment. Time frames and other contingencies with regard to use of the parsonage need to be negotiated.
The following outline is intended to help persons sort through related issues which may need to be addressed.
Variables: Family needs (such as children in school, e.g. housing beyond six months).
Contingencies:
*Pastoral leader employed elsewhere prior to conclusion of negotiated package or pastoral leader unemployed prior to conclusion of negotiated package.
*If unemployed the ministerial leader negotiates directly with MMBB regarding medical and retirement.
*If employed prior to the end of six months at a similar or higher level of compensation, the church’s financial obligation should cease. However, if the compensation does not meet the prior level, the church should make up the difference.
Be sure to formalize the negotiations through the use of a "Separation Agreement" (see Appendix C).
Note: Unemployment benefits are available in the business and public sector for persons who loose their jobs. Commonly, unemployment insurance provides a continuation of salary at a reduced level for a period of six months. Further, professionals who experience job loss typically are provided with an equitable severance package which includes salary, health, and retirement premiums.
In those cases in which the congregation decides that the ministerial leader has acted in ways which demonstrate a lack of professional integrity, the region staff should be contacted. The congregation, in consultation with the region staff, may determine that the pastor should be removed immediately from the leadership role with no opportunity for the renegotiation of the pastor/church relationship. Nevertheless, it is recommended that a separation agreement be negotiated which is acceptable to both parties; this separation agreement should include salary, housing, medical insurance, and retirement premiums. In addition, it is recommended that a healing process be developed.
Affirmed by the Ministers Council Senate, July 29, 1991
Endorsed by the National Commission on the Ministry, September 20, 1991
Click here to download PDF Version.